it’s just universally accepted that band geeks is the best episode of spongebob
Whoever’s the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on
if u are about to get stabbed just say “I have too much swagger for the dagger” and they will leave u alone
to the prankster who put “the moon” as the address on their online pizza delivery order: thanks a whole dang lot. i was up there for like ten minutes just aimlesly waiting, ringing the doorbell, kicking moon rocks around
better stop off at the next motorway services since i've been driving for 3 hours, which is 1 hour more than the highway code recommends!!
yeah it's a pretty short drive only like 47 hours if i don't stop
Me: “dad am i adopted?”
Dad:no, ur David. why woud anyone name you ‘Adopted’? even if we wanted to, ur name was alredy David when we adopted you